How to Lead a Team and Gain Respect

Most of us start at the bottom of the career ladder and work our way up. We become so proficient at our job, earning respect of the management and becoming a valued member of our team. Eventually promotion is offered, usually within the same team and we can find ourselves leader of the team we were once part of.

This does have its advantages, however, doesn't come without its problems. There is nothing that can gain respect more than people knowing that you have been there and done the job for yourself. You know the systems and procedures, what is expected and the problems that your team may encounter. You can see things from their point of view. This can be a great advantage when leading a team. You know when to cut the slack because of genuine difficulties, but you also know an excuse when you hear one.

The problems arise though when some of the team members may have been there much longer than you, may be older with more experience, or may feel that they were the ones that deserved the promotion. You may find it difficult to be assertive and to feel that you are taken seriously as a manager. Since you were once in their position,you will know how hard the job is and may feel guilty for enforcing deadlines. So how can you gain respect from your team and get them to do what you need them to without them thinking that power has gone to your head?

Firstly, stop beating yourself up and congratulate yourself on your promotion. It is quite normal to feel this way when you have been used to working on the other side ofthe fence, as it were. The dynamics of your team have now changed so now you need to embrace this change and take control. In order to gain respect, you have to give it. Show your team that you value them and support them by listening to how you can help them. Listen to any ideas that they may have. Think back to when you were in their position. If you had a problem, how would you have liked your leader to have handled it? Remember that the only way to get what you want is to ask for it. Never assume that anyone in your team knows exactly what is expected of them. When enforcing a deadline, explain to them when it has to be done by and why, then ask how they think they can achieve it, what do they need to make this happen, how can you best help them?

Once they know that they have your full support, then they will do whatever they can for you.

How to Get the Respect You Think You Deserve

Well actually you don't get respect, you earn it.

Respect is earned by words, and by actions. Things like keeping your promises or proactively providing service. Things like becoming more personally involved with the success of your customer, or taking responsibility when responsibility is not really yours. It's the extra effort. It's the extra mile.

One of the keys to respect is the word personal. How personal are you in your actions? How personal are you in your communication? The more personal you are with others, the more respect you will earn.

But there is a secret to respect. The secret is: In order to earn the respect of others, you must first respect yourself.

This means you have to have confidence in yourself. You have to like what you do. You have to be willing to serve. You have to like yourself. And you have to love yourself. Like and love are two separate issues. You may like yourself for how you look, or how you sell, or how you communicate, but you love yourself for who you are, what you believe in, and what or who you seek to become.

Try writing a list of all the good things that you've done for yourself, and all the good things that you've done for others. Be real enough with yourself to admit what you like about yourself, and what you love about yourself.

Then list what you need to change about yourself that will make you better and stronger. Maybe your self-respect suffers from the way you see yourself in the mirror, or some of the personal choices that you make. Maybe it's your environment. But whatever it is, if you don't acknowledge it, you will never be able to change it or enhance it. You'll never be able to grow in earning respect from others until you grow in respecting yourself.

The secret is easy. Do the right thing all the time and respect will be yours. Say the right words, take the right actions, and believe in your heart that you're doing the best you can do -- for yourself first, and for others second.

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